When things go wrong Stress breaks in. It’s something that hits you at the oddest moments making you take it on regardless if you can or not. It test your mind and strength. At the end it’s survival of the best. It’s do or die cause if you can’t then your at the bottom of the pit lost, confused and weak. So let me take on this beast like the weak little thing I see it as. *woosa

So much overwhelming things going on in my head I can’t choose to pick out what’s wrong with me. I truly don’t know why I’m in tears tonight. One by one my self esteem, insecureness and stress is piling up. I thought I got over a lot of things but they’re jus hidden somewhere inside me. I hold everything in and once something finally hits me everything flows out. Piece by piece I’m falling apart but no one knows . That’s jus how I want it to be. I’m fine with upholding that smile all day. Not letting anybody see the other side of me. Goodnight 😞

I am who I am not because of you but because I chose to be this way. I do as I please, I say what I want when I want cause I can. Judge me. Talk about me. Hate me. Doesn’t really matter. I can be who you want me to be but then I wouldn’t be me at all. Be you no matter what.

It hasn’t hit me yet that this may be end of me and him. It happened but my mind still trying to be content about everything. I’m too strong to be weak. When things go wrong music heals me. That’s how I deal with everything. My problems become nothing after a while. Outta sight and outta mind. I can’t help that my mentality is always that IDGAF, I trained my mind to be like that after a while of alway being hurt over everything. So what can I do now. I’m not ready to let go but in this case idk.

No more tears. Valerie just wipe them and realize crying is a waste of your time. No more crying over anything. Get up, wipe your face, wash it & jus smile. 😃 That’s much better for the world.

After a long days of work and not seeing him. I miss him a lot like every second minute & hour that I’m not with him. That agonizing pain of your other half not with you sucks BIG balls. All I want is still have a normal calm conversation before I fall fast asleep. Ask me: How was your day? How are you feeling? Did you eat ? Jus little simple things that show me you care jus a little bit. But I can’t even get that. At this point my life is falling apart and the only thing that remains with me is him and my family. I jus don’t ever wanna lose that feeling of him caring for me. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS.
Goodnight . 😞💤

Haven’t been in this for a while. This is the only place I’m able to write how I feel without judge. A place where my thoughts are free. At this point in my life aim growing more into thought . Jus need to get my head on my goal. Day by day it’s getting harder. Having a loving my boyfriend and trying to spend time with my loved ones at the same time is harder then I thought. My baby has become my world he’s the only one that I love waking up to even if he’s still sleeping. When we argue it’s like world war III but at the end it’s like the world is at piece once again. Im realizing that I need to include everyone in my life without making him feel like I’m neglecting him cause at the end of the day he’s the last person I want to see and hear. I guess I need to make him realize he’s my world but sometimes I need to include others in it too. I can only be one person at one time. Being adult is about balancing both and I have to do that .

I jus wanna curl up into a ball & cry my heart out 😔